Summer's End, End of Lowell Drawing

The last drawing session in Lowell has happened, it closes down, and it sort of fits into my lack of enthusiasm for doing art. To the left, the last drawing,Veronica. From the midwest somewhere. Very stately.
I'm not sure what the mood it is that i am in about this, it ties into a lot of personal issues, things i have been struggling with this  past year, but maybe into larger issues too. Everything in my studio has a layer of dust over it, and there are musical instruments and unfinished projects laying everywhere, and it is daunting.Turning 50 turned out to be quite a big deal.
Summer, this week, is gone in the valley, and though it is dang pretty this time of year, maybe the prettiest, and the sun is glorious and the shadows cold, and my bees are busier then ever in a last ditch to suck sweetness out of the last buds and flowers, it does seem like the end of yet another one. I never painted a landscape once, in an area brimming with untapped possibilities.
Maybe I am not doing that well, I can't tell, somehow things that were important once are no longer, and its been swift and relentless and dramatic and doing art is distancing itself, and becoming more like something i don't really need to be doing, and peripheral to being happy.
How many times can a fella look at a naked body, or a landscape, and try to get life into the tones and lines of drawing, and never quite get there, and never quite know why one even wants to get there.
I am fixing up an old house. I have started a parallel blog, called Rutherford House.  That's the art for now, figuring it all out, and trying to build something. A parallel universe.