Saturday, June 11, 2011

Painting quickly, and sloppily, and with a lot on my mind that is not about painting, I paint this red haired woman in Everett, and constantly think; this is about drawing, try to get the drawing right, try to get the shapes right, or it wall all fall apart. So first, the shapes, the lines, the way it might fit on the board. Then, paint, And i get sloppy witth it, thinking, its all about managing grey, and punching grey with clean color, but really, I never get to clean color, I keep pushing color into color that is already there, sloppy, lazy, and it dims on me, i can't keep it afloat.

There is much to capture, or try to capture, in a painting of a young woman, that a master would know, but I dont know, the way that flesh glows, and is subtle, and smooth, and shaped, and there is a glint here and there. There is a young painter name Sara Zin, i think, who has disappeared i guess, at least her website remains as it always has, but she had capture the idea of planes, and clean color, and deep emotion in her subjects. Really brilliant I think.

I think of her work, and how it seems new, how it is part of the photographic age, and yet paint, how it takes advantage of the photographic lens, and its intimacy, and yet, works to break this into color, and paint, and brushwork. So it is not derivative, but new, and I like it.

My own work, i don;t really like.I wish it were better, I wish i could somehow retain what i know and not keep going backward. But that's not the nature of it. I get that. I get that if you want to get to Carnegie Hall, you have to find it first on Google Maps, I get that what i am doing on this earth, painting, or otherwise, isn't going to be photographed in minute detail, and studied.

Still, there is the ambition of the amateur , to somehow figure out how to rise above, and play some part in the movement of art. But really, this is so unlikely, that it makes me wonder: whats the next tier, whats the reason for doing this.